literature

trapped like rats

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Daily Deviation

Daily Deviation

March 10, 2005
trapped like rats by ~TuaVerbaNihiliFacio

Fairly simple in its point but the execution, released in the controlled yet indiscriminate stylings of a babbling madman, builds onto an actual point.
Featured by ndifference
Suggested by Aladdin-Sane
TuaVerbaNihiliFacio's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

every electric keyboard whine can be sublime
when mice eat cheese all night from silver dishes that
      tickle their whiskers
and the rats will cringe from where they wait in the wings
with their hairy tails in traps,
           “oh the tales we could tell, cos you see,
      we used to get the cheese
back when the wurlitzer hum made the basement floor and
walls samba like a six-point-five somewhere along the
san andreas, bigger at the epicentre, yes,
      don’t you see now…”
           yes, see now –
when your life story consists of bottomless lattes
           (oh heaven)
and the hours you waste thinking on the years
you wasted getting the education you’ll never use and for which
you didn’t save the receipt so there’s no return,
      no refund or exchange;
all those little lives are gone like the will of mice
in traps when the top half of the cage
clangs down on the bottom and all that cheese just
rots in their stomachs like acid and they’d
      rather be the rat –
“at least for him it’s over fast and the cheese doesn’t go bad”
(they would rather die with
a nice taste in their mouths) –
you see now you have to ignore the background noise
and find a way to eat at the expense of
      either freedom or freedom to live, no matter
            how whiny the electric noise gets,
            how hauntingly the wurlitzer hums.
Hey look, it's an angsty antisocial poem. Betcha didn't think I did these things, eh? In most instances, in fact, probably 98.9% of the time, I really look down on angsty poetry. In the exceptional instance of a malcontent mustering an interesting allegory or metaphor for his/her angst, I find appreciation for the lows depression sinks us all to. I stated earlier that I wasn't happy with it - I'm not sure if I've changed my mind yet, but the poem certainly thinks more of itself now.

Anyway, it's pretty transparent. If you aren't sure what it means, make it up.


( The rat used for preview image is clipart from [link] I don't use clipart often, and I read their license, which said nothing about colouring the rat red and adding text. I'm not claiming the rat. )


[EDIT]: I was informed of a typo, which has been fixed. I'm also still twitching in stunned reaction to the DD. Big thanks to *Aladdin-Sane and ^ ndifference and to those of you reading (and especially commenting). :)
© 2005 - 2024 TuaVerbaNihiliFacio
Comments66
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Leynarue's avatar
Whew...awesome poem. I totally feel where you're coming from with this one- hell, I'm in college too right now after all!