the update
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been out for a while. at the point where it feels like there's too much going on and i'd love to sleep, but since there is in fact so much, i can't. i haven't slept for longer than two hours in months. it's starting to wear me down, i think, though sometimes i can get naps and those can be quite refreshing.

remind me to never take an "easy" courseload again. i've got papers due every week between my lit and creative comp classes. my marathon drawing lab that meets on sundays is almost six hours long and i'm already behind... after starting the quarter with that "i can do everything and anything and i will do WELL" kind of feeling. guess it came back and bit me where it counts.

also have had to deal with some weird illnesses. friends pressure me to go to the doctor, but the most they can do is force-feed me antibiotics and plug an IV into my arm. i'd rather drink water and wait it out.

if i had all the time in the world i would be a nuclear physicist. i'd study ebola in my spare time as a virologist. i'd become a cosmetic surgeon and revolutionise the world's ideal of beauty. i'd become a criminal defense attorney and devote myself to law, keeping the innocent out of jail; on fridays i would be a superhero and a prosecutor and put child molesters behind bars.

i realise that if i devoted myself to any one of these things, the key word being "one", i could be successful. all of them are high-paying professions, respectable, and requiring a "good education". but i cannot limit myself to one thing. i'd love to do all this. i would love to take apart virus strands and synthesise deadly diseases. i want to create safer nuclear energy and stop people disposing of spent reactor core rods in ditches near public picnic areas and retirement homes.

but all i really want to do is write.



the "to do" list.
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• continue editing recent poetry
• write more, and head toward finishing, F&B.
• finish "Monsters"
• go back to the horror stories (got something going here)
• complete and post another chapter of CC&C [ON HOLD]
• continue writing and serialising Infernal Origins.


the "i've done it" list.
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:!: go me. a few short stories. not sharing here – it counts as "publication" and nobody will pay me. maybe later.
:!: new poems. those can definitely be shared as they are, by and large, worthless.